Story Time: That Time He Was Shot

I've been asked for more stories.

Just so you know, you need to read my first ever blog post and "Why I Stayed..." to understand certain things about my first marriage and why others want to hear these stories.

I'm going to tell you the about the first time something outrageous happened in our marriage. This should have made me run for the hills. However, I foolishly explained it away and I'm ashamed to admit that!

We hadn't been married long. It may have been about four months into our marriage and our first son wasn't yet one year old. It was late one evening and I was watching TV while my ex-husband was using the bathroom. Our landline started to ring, which was odd because we both had cell phones so not many people called that number. He was in the bathroom, so of course I was the one to answer.

When I answered, there was a young lady on the other end of the line. She asked to speak to him, and when I said he wasn't able to come to the phone she asked who I was. "I am his wife, can I take a message?" I replied. She told me her name and basically began word vomit about who she was and why she was calling.

She told me she had been in a relationship with my ex-husband and he had recently reached out to her after his accident. Accident? What accident? "Oh, well he messaged me and told me he was shot while he was at work. I hadn't heard from him in a while so I was surprised."

Now, my ex-husband was trying to go into law enforcement, but had not been successful in doing so. He lied too much and it caught up with him and no one would hire him. However, he had created a whole scenario of being on duty as a police officer and being shot during one of his shifts. He worked at the county jail. We had been away at college in Milledgeville when we became pregnant. He stayed there for the summer while I came home and had our son. He moved back home before we got married in the fall. Apparently, he was in a relationship with this women before he moved back, while I was an hour away at home with our child.

She proceeded to tell me that she became pregnant with his child and when she told him he had left and abandoned her. She miscarried shortly after finding out she was pregnant. All of the sudden she started getting calls and messages from him that he had been shot and his life flashed before his eyes. He told her all he could think about, and see, while he was dying was her face!

At this point, he can tell something weird is going on, but he's not coming out of the bathroom for sure! I walked to the bathroom and just handed him the phone. I honestly didn't know what else to do because I was caught so off-guard. He took the phone and began talking to her. I could hear her screaming at him that he was obviously lying and he needed to tell the truth. He just tried to talk over her and said, "Listen, you are crazy. I don't know why you are doing this, but don't ever call here again!" She said a few more choice words and then hung up on him.

What happened next is probably the most alarming part of the story. He just stared at me like, "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I obviously asked him to explain himself and he decided to go with the explanation of her being crazy. She had always wanted to be with him, but he had turned her down. She was lying. He never told her any of that. It all seemed way too detailed to be made up. How would she randomly know anything related to his law enforcement dreams and goals? Why would she be calling now, so long after he moved away from there?

I knew all the answers in my heart, but there I was with his child and too much pride to let anyone know about what just happened. He wouldn't talk any further about it. He just wanted it to disappear. He literally tried to act like I didn't just get a phone call that he had gotten another woman pregnant and had created a web of lies to tell her! Time has caused me to forget what happened during the days that followed. However, later on in the year, we decided to visit Milledgeville one day to see old friends.

We met up with a few of his friends that were groomsmen in our wedding. They met our son and asked how married life was. Then one of them asked to see his scar. I looked at him, and I saw his face go pale. His friend said, "Come on, getting shot in the arm has to leave a nasty mark? Is your arm all jacked up?" I could have died from embarrassment! He didn't deny it and say that a crazy girl made up lies about him. He just shrugged it off, but it easily could have escalated. He had on short sleeves and all he had to do was lift up his sleeve to show them. They could tell he had lied, and it was super awkward. They had heard the story from the girl who called us. That's the last time he spoke to any of those friends.

After that encounter, I knew everything she said to me was true. I kick myself now at how weak I was to stay. It was weak back then, because it was about my pride and being scared. As time went on, I thought I could fix him or that God would fix him for me. My reasons for staying evolved and eventually I stayed out of strength.

It's a miracle I trust anything anyone ever says to me. It was more natural for my ex-husband to lie than to tell the truth; a constant mind game. God truly blessed me when he placed Ben in my life. I've never caught him in a lie. I'd love to say that's because he knows what lying would do to me, but that's not the case. He just isn't a liar. When I comment to Ben about it he says, "Why would I want to lie? I don't want to have to keep track of all my secrets. If I never lie, I know there's nothing I need to worry about."

It's that simple folks.