Our Story

Look there! Our first picture as a couple. It was taken in February of 2017, just a little over a month after we met.

I love our story.

Y'all have read a lot about my past relationship and not nearly enough about this amazing man God has blessed me with. Take a minute to read about how everything can fall into place when you let go of all your reservations and trust your intuition.

July of 2016

The day before I returned back to work (I'm a teacher), my life fell to pieces. I found out about the last and final affair I was willing to tolerate. I immediately told my husband to leave. I spent the entire night awake staring at the ceiling. It's the only night of my life I can remember not sleeping one minute. I just stared.

A million questions were running through my mind. What now? What will happen to the life we've built? How will the kids handle this once I explain it to them? Will I be able to make it on my own? Never once did I question my decision to have him leave. I decided pretty quickly that I was done. When I'm done...I'm done.

It was about two weeks after he left when I found out he was already seeing someone else. I was shocked. I'm not really sure why. Maybe because he was telling me he would win me back. It's hard to win your wife back when you are charging dates with other women on your joint checking account for her to see. We were still married! Up until two weeks prior there had never been any talk of divorce. I was just living and surviving my life. I hold the belief that when you are married, you are married. It doesn't matter if you are separated or getting a divorce, in God's eyes, that is your spouse and you are still married to them. I didn't even entertain the idea of dating until our divorce was final.

November 2016

Our divorce was finalized the beginning of November and it was later that month that I made a dating profile. I had just left an 11 year marriage. I didn't need a new relationship right away, but I was lonely. I thought at the most I'd put myself out there and find some company. While I wanted something casual and time to grow individually, I still knew there were certain things I needed to stay clear of based on personal preferences. I knew I only wanted to spend time with other Christians. I didn't want to risk falling for someone with contradicting beliefs. I didn't want to date anyone in the military. I like living here close to family and I have children that I can't move around. I also didn't want to be alone if they were ever deployed. I also was not looking to have anymore children.

I joined Christian Mingle and the people on that site were anything but Christian, so I left and joined Plenty of Fish. I went out with a couple of guys for several weeks, but I just felt like everything was forced. Even hanging out casually wasn't very much fun. They all wanted serious relationships much faster than I was willing to commit to and they wanted kids! At one point I told one of them, "I just don't feel like I should when I'm with you. There's no butterflies." He replied that I was being naïve and people don't get butterflies in their thirties. I was one click away from giving up on online dating.

December 2016

I saw this handsome guy's profile and thought I'd reach out to him.

Here is where Ben and I differ on how we met. He claims he messaged me first, but it's a lie. We are going to ask God who messaged who first when we get to heaven.

I popped into his messenger and asked if he'd like to chat. He said he would and we slowly started a conversation. It didn't really go very far. If I was at work the dating app didn't work on our school Wi-Fi so I could only talk when I was at home. It made for an uneventful conversation.

I gave up and moved on after a few days.

January 2017

Things had settled down with online dating. I had quit seeing everyone other than one person I spent a little time with here and there. He was not interested in a relationship so I knew it would dwindle eventually. I'm not sure why, but I looked through older messages seeing if there was anything I had missed or wanted to revisit. There were the messages to the cutie I reached out to in December.

Why not? So, I messaged him explaining that I had ghosted him because it was too hard to talk on the app. I asked if we could exchange numbers instead so that we could text. He agreed. We talked for about a week and agreed to meet up for a date.

There were a few things "wrong" with Ben. First off, he was in the military. One of my items to avoid! He explained to me that he was in the Air National Guard, so he didn't really move around. He could deploy and he was about to enter an intense training program the next upcoming summer. After this training program ended, he could potentially have to move to Savannah and he would be deploying often. I asked him, "What happens if I meet you, and end up really liking you?" He replied, "Well, we can either stop things right here before we meet, or give it a shot and see where this goes. You let me know what you want."

Well, I guess you guys know that I met him. We went to Olive Garden on a Tuesday night. I was relieved that he looked just like his pictures and we had great conversation. We both agreed it was a good first date. He asked if we could continue the night by getting drinks, but I needed to get home to my boys and the sitter I left them with. We agreed to go out again that weekend.

Well talked all throughout the week until Friday arrived. We went to eat Mexican and then watched his favorite movie of all time, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, at his apartment. As I left his apartment that night, I called my mom and told her I'd met the man I would marry.

I quickly learned that Ben wanted more children. He had always wanted more ever since having his first child and it didn't happen in his first marriage. He let me know pretty quickly that if kids weren't an option, he needed to move on. I told him I was open to it, but in reality I wasn't really sure. However, I was sure that I was falling in love with him.

I knew I needed to find someone I could trust. After everything I'd been through, a lot of people thought that would be impossible. Ben is honest to a fault. He has never lied about anything. Not once. Not to me or anyone else. He doesn't have a need for it. He tells the truth about things that are hard to tell the truth about and he speaks what he's feeling openly. It didn't take long for me to realize God had placed him in my life to be my husband; the kind I deserved all along.

March 2017

We were in my kitchen, just talking about life and how crazy it was that things just seem to be so easy for us. I was sitting on the counter and he was standing in front of me. We had already told each other we loved one another. It was getting harder and harder for him to leave and go home each night. I don't know who really said what. I know that sounds crazy. But we just agreed we wanted to be married.

Before that day, I figured a proposal would come eventually. He was leaving for military training in the summer and he'd be gone for close to a year. I figured he'd ask me to marry him after several more months of dating during one of his trips home to visit. That would have been an "appropriate" time frame to wait for engagement. We just couldn't wait.

He calls it "an adult decision that just made sense." I roll my eyes at that. It was anything but logical. It was crazy and impulsive, but it was also a decision I felt so much peace about. I was so in love with him, I didn't want to wait another minute. We decided we'd get married at the court house a month later.

I told my mom first. She didn't react like I thought she would. She calmly asked why we seemed to be in a rush. I told her there wasn't a rush. We were just ready. Why wait? We had both spent years of our lives without each other and we wanted our life together to start now. She said it was fast but she would support me 100% if this is really what I wanted. The only thing she asked was for us to have a wedding instead of going to the court house. I gave in and let her plan it all, because I truly didn't care about anything other than just saying "I do."

We knew people would be shocked and not understand. We agreed not to let negative comments bother us or make us feel less confident about our decision. There were a few people who were upset and didn't talk to me for a little while. Some people told me they couldn't come to the wedding and support us because they didn't agree with what we were doing. Everyone had a right to their own opinion. It hurt a little, but I knew what to expect given the situation.

April 2017

On April 7, 2017, we got married at the Farm House on Houston Lake Rd. in Warner Robins, GA. We shared a small ceremony with about 50 of our closest family and friends. We said our vows and ended the event with a BBQ lunch and wedding cake. It was beautiful.

Our honeymoon was camping in a tent and completing a Spartan Race the day after. It was fun and right up Ben's alley. It was 17 degrees the night before the race, so we didn't sleep much. I also felt like I was dying once the race was over. The things you do for love.

We both know that our relationship is divine intervention. God molded us and shaped us into who we needed to be for each other. Every trial and struggle we experienced in other relationships, or as single individuals, was something we needed to go through to make our way to one another.

There is no better husband for me than Benjamin Baker. He is messy and I am a neat freak. He is an idealist and I am a realist. He is aggressive and I am passive. In many ways we are opposite, but in all the right ways we are perfect for each other. He is the honest, loyal, faithful leader of my family. I am his greatest cheerleader.

And I guess you can see he changed my mind about having more children. As I fell in love with him, my heart softened to the idea. The the idea became an actual desire. After losing our first pregnancy, and months and months of trying after that loss, we had Emerson Katherine Baker. And you've read all about how special she is and how she's changed my life in so many ways.

Meeting Ben and marrying him so quickly was completely out of character for me. I'm so glad I listened to the gentle whispers of God when he nudged my heart to let go and trust him. What a beautiful life with an amazing man. I'll write more about him later...cause there's a lot to say about his crazy self!